Becoming the un-disfigured self

I used to have this clear picture of what I thought I was. A disfigured tree, blown sideways by the winds over time but growing still, bent but breathing. 

I suppose I thought being tortured was romantic (only because poets and musicians can seem tortured, so it was all vanity, embarrassingly. All the same, I looked upon the tree as a fair analogy of my view on life and accepted it was me, my truth.)

But in the past 18 months much has changed and I no longer feel comfortable trapped inside a shape imposed by outside forces. I want to find my own shape. 

Today I was talking with a wise and funny Irishwoman who said: "maybe it's time you saw things how you were born to see them." Which I thought was a beautiful expression. Imagine just for a moment what that would look like, seeing things the way you alone were born to see them, your own original, valuable, necessary-to-the-rest-of-us "take" on life.

 

For many years, too many, my "take" on life was the view from someone bent sideways and low. I have learned in the past 18 months that kindness and compassion to others (and to ourselves) is far more beautiful.

If I was a tree, I would now rather look like this:-